5 Interesting Things I Have Learned About Happiness As I Grow Older
Happiness is something we are all always chasing. Unfortunately, many people do not know that happiness is not a destination. It is possible to be happy with what we have and who we are and be happy in the process of chasing what we want and who we want to become.
The interesting thing is, in everything we do, the goal is to be happy, whether we know it or not. So nobody will intentionally put themselves in a situation where the end goal is not to be happy.
So, Yes! Those people not leaving abusive relationships foresee happiness in the future. For people involved in crime and other socially inappropriate activities, happiness is their dream.
I have put together a list of five things I have learned about happiness through my growth process.
Happiness is not always a choice
Happiness is an emotion just like any other. Shame, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, disappointment, grief, you name them all. Now, sometimes when you are experiencing some emotions, it is impossible to be happy too.
For example, when I am grieving, I am hurting, and at that moment, I am not happy. Do not let anybody pressure you into being happy all the time. Instead, allow yourself to feel other emotions and cry when you have to.
As much as I want to choose happiness, sometimes that emotion is on the table for me. However, do not be unhappy for too long. After some moments of negative emotions, look for the happiness and choose it.
Happiness is not always free
I always thought happiness is absolutely free, but no, it is not. Sometimes you have to pay the price for some happiness. A good example I waking up on a cold morning to go to work. I would be happier if I slept in on a cold winter morning if it was up to me.
But then I wouldn’t go to work, I would not make money, I will not pay my bills, and I will be unhappy. Therefore we are forced to sacrifice little life pleasures for future happiness. That is the price we pay.
If you are not happy getting it, you will not be happy when you finally get it
This notion that you will be happier when you get something you really wanted is absolutely true. The truth is, you will be happier when you finally get the car or house of your dreams. Likewise, you will be much happier and relaxed when you can finally comfortably pay all your bills.
However, what you do to achieve those dreams will determine whether you will be happy or rich and depressed. Unfortunately, some people are doing lots of ugly things to achieve their dreams. It could be toxic workplaces, crime-related activities, or things that are not morally upright to you.
Even if you achieve these dreams, you will be traumatized by the things you had to do to achieve those dreams. That is not happiness. That is not what you want for yourself.
Some sources Happiness can be harmful
I know we all have come across the four social chemical brain hormones that make us happy (Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins). But, unfortunately, some of the sources of these happy chemicals can be harmful.
The dopamine hormone is common. Some people get it from drugs, abusive relationships, food, and other harmful places. For example, when I eat Junk foods, I am thrilled, but this will be harmful.
The kind of happiness that we get from harmful sources are the temporary life pleasures we should give up because they give us short-lived joy.
The goal is to live a little longer in this world and to be happy while at it. So, any source of happiness that might shorten one’s life does not bring the emotion of joy but fear and uncertainty.
We experience happiness differently.
When it comes to things that make us happy and how we act when we are happy, we are different. Some people are excited they are alone, others when they are with people. Other people get excited when at peace with everyone; others are happy when chasing their dreams, regardless of how many bridges they burn.
In this regard, make it your ambition to respect other people’s choices. Do not assume people are not happy because they are not living life as you do. I have worked in Charity, and I will tell you for a fact, these people we assume need our help are among the happiest people I have met.
So, in case you want to take “joy” to a group you have diagnosed to be sad, make sure they are not happy for sure.