Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, assess, regulate, and control our own emotions and the feelings of other people and groups.
Emotional intelligence enables us to respond quickly and effectively to various triggers and situations. Emotionally knowledgeable people can live in peace with others and with themselves.
It has been proven that controlling our own and understanding others’ sentiments, and exercising self-control is crucial for success in all aspects of our lives.
The process of raising our EQ has no end. We should continuously enhance our emotional intelligence because there is no limit to how emotionally intelligent one can be.
Furthermore, improving your EQ should be a top focus. Numerous studies have proven that EQ accounts for 80% of your success and IQ account for 20%. If you have a high EQ, you will survive on Earth just fine.
Here are some simple ways to improve your emotional intelligence.
Listen More, Talk Less
The good thing about listening more and talking less is that you hear what they are not saying. This is a strength, and some sought of a secret weapon.
However, do not be weird. Do not shut up when you are supposed to speak because you are listening more.
You can listen more and still voice your opinions.
2. Figure out Your Emotions/ Identify Your Emotions
Have you ever been in a position where you could not explain the emotion you were feeling? Well, haven’t we all?
When in such a situation, it is wise to withdraw for a while and try to identify that emotion. Also, please familiarize yourself with the emotion wheel; it will help you identify the emotion you are experiencing.
And if you have been in a position where you have been unable to identify an emotion for some time, kindly seek professional help. Check out Online therapy for online counseling.
3. Feel Your Emotions
Feeling our emotions is a powerful thing to do. I know there are a lot of gurus out here spreading positivity and telling you to block all the negative emotions.
Yes, there are negative emotions, but we do not choose the emotions to feel. I wish we woke every morning and picked the emotions we wanted to feel that day. I would choose happiness over and over again.
Unfortunately, that is not how the world works. Our triggers cause our emotions, and when they come, they are here.
Yes, hate is a strong emotion to waste on anyone, but sometimes that is what you truly feel. At that time, the best thing you can do is agree with yourself that this is the feeling I am feeling, and I do not want to feel it anymore, then look for healthy ways to deal with it.
4. Learn To Respond Rather Than React To Your Emotions
We must learn how to respond rather than react to our emotions. When we respond to our emotions, we allow ourselves to feel the emotion and develop the most practical way to handle it.
But when we react to our emotions, we fulfill an urge brought about by the emotion. For example, when we are angry, we feel the urge to lash out, fight or even destroy property. But that will have harmful repercussions.
It is more like acting without thinking. While we are humans, sometimes emotions can overwhelm us with so much pressure that we react. However, if you are in the habit of responding rather than reacting to your emotions, they will not drive you to extremes as you react.
Don’t we all know a person with a good reputation who committed unthinkable crimes just because of a one-time emotional trigger?
5. Take Responsibility For Your Feelings and The Actions You Take
There is strength in owning your emotions. We can’t keep blaming each other for how we’re feeling. For example, it’s easy to blame the ex who cheated on you for the anger you feel inside.
But did you know that other people have been cheated on, but their emotion is not anger? Some feel betrayed, hurt, bitter, or hated.
I am trying to say that we do not choose our emotions, nor can anyone else make us feel a way we have not somehow allowed.
Mostly, our expectations dictate the emotions we feel. So, the next time someone cheats on you and feels angry, ask yourself why you feel that way.
You are sometimes angry because the person with whom you planned your entire life had chosen a path that has shattered your dreams of a happily ever after. But are you considering what the other person’s happily ever after looked like?
6. Empathise With Others.
I am cautious when I tell people to be empathetic because such people are vulnerable to being used. Kindly read this article about Toxic empathy. It will be beneficial to help you to be a good empath.
However, it is good sometimes to try to see other people’s points of view. Sometimes you may not even understand where they are coming from, but you have to respect that.
Whether we like it or not, we are all triggered by different things. What triggers you is not what tigers another person, and we all have to learn to live with that.
7. Strive To Always Do What Is Best
Doing the best is not always the easiest or kindest thing to do, but it is what will benefit all parties involved.
What do you do when you realize you are no longer in love with someone? It will be hard to break up with them, especially if your relationship has progressed to high heights. However, some people would rather stay with a person they do not love to avoid hurting them.
Isn’t it better to break up with someone now? Yes, they will hate you, but you have saved that person a lifetime of unloved relationships.
Sometimes we hold onto things to avoid hurting ourselves and those we love, only to mess up many lives in the long run.
It is wise always to do what is best, no matter how hurting or cruel it may seem. That is how we build resilience and mental strength. Emotions are there to communicate with us but not to guide us.
8. Talk to someone.
Did you know seeking therapy is a form of emotional intelligence? Admitting that there is this emotion that you have been unable to deal with, or you don’t know what emotion you’re feeling, is a power move.
It hurts that there is still a stigma surrounding therapy when depression, suicide, and mental-related illnesses are on the rise.
Let us normalize talking to someone when we feel lost in our emotions. You can check out the Online Therapy website if you require therapy.
9. Do not Give Up On Your emotional intelligence journey
Do not give up on becoming emotionally intelligent. Becoming emotionally intelligent is a journey without an end.
Even though we have people with extremely high levels of emotional intelligence, they still pursue it. EQ is a journey, not a destination.
So yes, sometimes you will act brilliantly to your emotions, and other times you will snap and react to them. But even then, dust yourself off and keep going. Practice some self-compassion, benefit from the doubt, empathize with yourself, and move on. Just do not stop.