Dating Mistakes are things we all have or will experience at one point in our lives. That is how we learn. Have you ever looked back at your dating past and thought, “Damn! I have been doing some dumb shit?”
A few years back, I had just turned 25. You know, the age I had hoped to get married and start a family at. Life can be so frustrating right? So, here I am, 25 years old, not married, no children and worst still not dating. What was wrong with me? I needed to put myself out there, get myself a man, get married and start having children as soon as possible.
I mean I was way past my getting married timeline and the biological clock, well, is still ticking. So, I did exactly that. I put my self back into the dating scene and boy! did I make some mistakes?
1. Compromising On Your Standards
You can never get one person with all the qualities you look for in a man. So when we have a timeline, we tend “lower” our standards and expectations. This is a dangerous mistake. You see, your standards, as long as they are realistic, are your standards. Do not be ashamed about them, do not be apologetic about them either. And the moment you decide to go for someone above or below your standards, you will never be happy in that relationship. You might spend the rest of your life admiring other peoples lives and thinking,” that should have been me.” You do not want to live like that, do you?
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2. Not playing hard to get
Women of certain age believe that playing hard to get is for teenagers, It is so immature. So, they do not play hard to get. You do not like someone, you let them know the moment they start showing interest and that’s commendable. You like someone, you do not waste your time communicating that to them in many different ways. This has worked for some people, but I feel a little resistance is cute. Remember men are born hunters, they want to feel that they worked for that relationship. Giving in too fast is actually a turn-off and a show of desperation from your side. A little resistance is good. Also, it helps in finding out how serious a guy is with you.
3. Thinking You Can Change a Man
First of all, how crazy is this? Well, I a firm believer that a man can change because of a woman he truly loves. I have seen it before. However, If that guy truly loves you, and he knows the thing(s) you do not like about him, he will change before he asks you out on a first date. When you accept a man with all his faults, he might think that you loved him despite, and chances of him ever changing are literally 0.000001%. So, if you decide to take in a man with his ‘changeable faults’ you might as well prepare yourself mentally to live with that for as long as your relationship exists.
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4. Being Too Generous
I think I should cancel generous and write stupid instead. So, here is my thinking, there are things that should never be given to man until you are married or the relationship is really serious. This, ‘I understand his situation” is real bullshit. So, do not clean his house, do not wash his clothes and most importantly do lend him money.
I will tell you this for free, a man borrowing money after 10 dates, clearly does not love you. Well, this is debatable but the truth is, when a man is truly in love with you, he would rather borrow money from his friends than from you. I mean he wants to impress you and most importantly he wants you to respect him and borrowing money so early in a relationship does not help. Again, giving a man favors which, even him does not think he deserves is an act of desperation and that’s a big turn off.
5. Showing Desperation
This sums up everything. It is literally the ultimate dating mistake. Well, the truth is, you might be really desperate to start a family, but please let that remain between you and you alone. Do not act it, and do not show it no matter what. So, when you get a man, be classy and do not make it a big deal. Well, it is a big deal just don’t show it. Never act like they are the price.