My Ex Boyfriend Acts Hot And Cold – What Are The Reasons?

Breakup comes with negative emotions in most situations. But strangely, my ex boyfriend acts hot and cold. Why does he do so? Let’s find out the answer.

After the split, many girls report that their former partners display unusual behaviors: my ex boyfriend acts hot and cold. Comprehending the confusion around this topic, our post is created to clarify why he does so. Keep scrolling down for further information!

How Does An Ex Behaving Hot And Cold Look Like?

When your ex acts extraordinarily, there is a chance that he wants to get back with you. Perhaps he regrets losing you after the breakup decision and behaves like that to draw your attention. Or simply, he would like to take revenge or ignore your appearance. 

This practice takes numerous forms, and these are frequent ones: 

• He keeps sending texts to you, and when you reply, your ex stops the conversation or makes you wait for a while before continuing the chat. 
• He invites you to go on a trip or make a careful plan for that journey. But in the end, they unexpectedly cancel that intention by giving some excuses. 
• He says he still loves or misses you so much yet ignores your phone, text, or email. 
• He drops a hint that he wants to date again. Nevertheless, he deliberately lets you know that he is playing with your feelings, or you are just his backup plan after the next romantic failure. 
• He watches your stories or updates your activities on social media quickly but doesn’t answer the messages. 
• He decides to hang out with you. However, during the trip, he just throws snarky and annoying comments. 
• He asserts that he desires to mend the broken relationship of you two but then feels uncertain and doubts that decision.  

What Are The Reasons Why My Ex Boyfriend Acts Hot And Cold?

Following are eight common rationales: the annoying issue, testing, toxic attitudes, being involved in another relationship, arranging thoughts, lingering affection, inability to recover, and other factors. 

You Are Turning Him Off  

Commonly, many girls become clingy or desperate when the relationship ends. They invariably want to show that they are fine without their exes’ appearance, yet accidentally end up too intense and rude.

And that your former boyfriend plays hot and cold indicates these behaviors need to be modified instantly. Needless to say, he feels annoyed and expresses this emotion by ignoring you. The permanent loss of contact and perpetual indifference may follow.

To avoid the colder signals from your ex, you must change your lifestyle. It is inadvisable to pretend that you are fine and less needy. Remain true to yourself and respect the private space of your ex. 

Read more: 80 Compliments A Man Will Love To Hear

He Is Testing You 

He wants to see whether you are unglued or desperate after the breakup. Or you are strong and confident enough to stand your ground, brush it off, and control your feelings successfully. 

He will undertake numerous tests by putting up an aloof face. When you have failed, he is inclined to test you more or simply reach the conclusion that you are not attractive and deserve to be abandoned.

That fact is so disheartening, but there are some methods you could apply to win. The optimal one is enforcing your inner self to avoid childless conduct or unsuitable attitudes.  

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He Is Toxic 

In all probability, your ex behaves hot and cold with the purpose of taking revenge on you. Some toxic boyfriends send mixed signals to make their exes feel embarrassed, doubtful, or hurt simultaneously. 

Then, when their former partners show a crave for reconciliation, they reject and leave hundreds of unsolved worries to their exes. Playing with their emotions makes these boys feel superior and confident about their breakup decision. 

If you are currently encountering this case, it will be best to limit or cut all ties with him, cry your heart out to release negative emotions, and get his image out of your head. 

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He Is In Another Relationship 

When you pursue him and notice his strange reactions, your ex is apt to be in a new relationship. Not to let his new girlfriend disappoint, he has to treat you like this and possibly ghost you if this situation persists. 

He should not be blamed because you have already committed wrongdoings. Even though you miss him dreadfully, don’t strip off your ego and self-esteem by becoming a latecomer, which intends to disrupt their romantic love. 

It would help if you attempted to find a new partner or forget him by focusing more on yourself, such as doing exercises, taking up a new hobby, or widening your social circle.

He Is Trying To Process His Thoughts And Feelings 

When the relationship is over, your ex’s mind may turn into a confusing clutter. His head is full of many thoughts and worries about you.

Maybe, he is in love with you yet cannot accept the fact. Or, he plans to avenge himself on you for breaking his heart. Every scenario could happen, and he is messed with these pieces of stuff.

Accordingly, pretending to be disinterested is the best way to disclose this confusing state of his mind right now. 

He Still Has Feelings For You 

After the end of the relationship, your feelings can’t wear away instantly. It takes some time for them to fade, and this amount of time depends on each couple. 

Due to this, your ex could have some particular emotions for you. And when those feelings grow strong, it seems nearly impossible for him to resist reaching out to you. 

Later, after a while of thinking and reflecting on his love, he would feel quite awkward or chicken out of making up with you. Instead of talking or texting, he might choose to give you the cold shoulder as an effective way of forgetting you. 

Read also: How To Trigger A Man’s Hero Instinct 

He Is Trying To Get Over You 

Healing is not a linear process but includes numerous backtracks and side steps. In other words, it would like a loopy or jagged scribble that spreads all over the place. You are not the only one who feels miserable about the split, and so does your ex-boyfriend.

He may be hurt too much after the breakup if he still has affection for you. He will likely pretend indifferent, as he fears and does not summon sufficient courage to face you. He does so to hide his weaker aspects. 

To deal with this issue, you are advised to meet him directly and have a hearty conversion with the prospect of relieving the pain your ex has suffered. 

Other External Factors 

Sometimes, your ex’s cold behaviors denote nothing because something else has impacted his manner. Some bad experiences, like being complained by his colleagues, getting irritated by trivial things or failing an exam, could be culprits. 

Nostalgia may be another reason. When he comes across a picture or unintentionally hears an old song, beautiful memories between the two come back, sparking his hot conduct. However, he seems to exhibit cold behavior again when this nostalgic feeling fades. 

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How To Make Your Ex Stop Acting Hot And Cold?

Below are effective approaches you should pay close attention to. 

Accept Your Ex’s Behaviors  

In some cases, that your ex acts extraordinarily may evoke great uncertainty. You need to accept it and let everything take its course instead of doubting. 

If he behaves like that to ignore you, you are dumb when attempting to win your ex back. It is better to go out and select another person suited to your type and values instead of putting your hope in the wrong place. 

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Stop Chasing After Your Ex  

This practice only exacerbates the situation, rendering your former boyfriend to display a more indifferent attitude. Besides, your ego is also bruised since he no longer appreciates your value. Even if he accepts to meet you in the middle, your self-worth will be looked down upon. 

These tendencies only result in codependency, and you would become his second mother, taking charge of household tasks and kids or even making a living to feed him. How tiring it is! 

Be A Better Version Of Yourself  

Investing in yourself will change your ex’s outlook. When he sees you glow up after the split, the hot and cold conduct might be replaced by the jealous feeling. Here are some tips helping you update yourself more: 

• Hang out with your besties and befriend more. 
• Change your hair and fashion style and choose suitable clothing for your body type.   
• Quit cold turkeys, such as sleeping late, smoking, or squeezing acne. 
• Read more books or join some courses about social or career-related skills to boost your overall knowledge. 
• Meditate, exercise, and feel the charm of this life.
• Rely on cosmetic surgeries to enhance your appearance if you wish. 

Read more: Friends With Benefits: Yes Or No?

Polarize Your Former Boyfriend When He Reaches Out

When your ex is playing the hot-and-cold game, avoid texting or chatting via phone. You cannot build as strong an attraction as physical appearance does. Some misunderstandings could also arise, unfortunately. 

For instance, your ex finds it harder to comprehend what you are trying to convey without body language. Or the mutual conversation becomes less engaging since your jokes could turn into flirtatious or sarcastic comments. 

Phoning is not recommended, as you are more prone to feel stressed through calling. And when you are pressured to talk to your ex, all of the nervous expressions will show on your face. You should invite him on a date and have a face-to-face conversation.

Be Completely Honest 

To make your ex stop acting strangely after the split, being frank with him is viable. Start a hearty conversation and confess your true emotions. 

It might be tempting to force yourself to smile and pretend everything is okay. But this issue would cause more harm in the long run, and the resentment shimmering under the surface soon bursts. 

Worse scenarios may result from it, such as social media blocking or romantic drama. It would be best to tell your ex how annoying his conduct is and get solved together. 

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FAQs

Why Is My Ex-Boyfriend Acting As I Have Never Existed?  

Here are notable drives behind this matter: 

• He needs some breathing room to think about everything and reflect on whether the breakup decision is correct. 
• He feels uncertain about how to cope with this situation and how his life could change after your disappearance. 
• You may hurt his ego. 
• Your relationship is toxic. 
• He still loves you so much, so he chooses to pretend you have never existed to deny his emotions. 
• He is trying to be cool. 

Why Is My Ex-Boyfriend Always On My Mind?  

If you are stuck on this question, let us offer a helping hand: 

• Your affection for him still lingers. 
• You are attempting to overcome a traumatic relationship. 
• You miss beautiful memories when being beside him. 
• You hear or spot something reminiscent of the old time by chance.   
• You compare your new partner with the former one in an either subconscious or conscious way. 
• Your ex keeps showing up in your life by purpose. 

Why Is My Ex-Boyfriend Asking My Friends About Me?  

When your relationship ends amiably, he does so to update information about you. Don’t misinterpret his care and assume he still has feelings for you. He just regards you as a close friend. 

Nevertheless, if both of you part ways due to external factors, like the family barrier, he might still love you so much. Perhaps, he is not brave enough to show his true love by word of mouth and ask your friends for further information about your life, such as your health, study, or current interest. 

Final Thoughts

After this post, we hope you will gain helpful knowledge about why my ex boyfriend acts hot and cold. After knowing the reasons behind, you can easily decide on the next move.

Thank you, and good luck in your romance!